How To Change Your Self Talk

repetative self talk

 

Whenever there has been something in my life that I was not happy with and wished to change, I have found the one thing that has helped me to make that change has been immersing myself in new thoughts.  That meant consistently, every day for a while, keeping that thing out in front of me.

 For instance, when I was trying to change  persistent, negative self talk, the first thing I would do is write out that negative thing, and on paper, challenge myself.  Is it really true?  Where did it come from? Do I really want to believe it?  Must I believe it? What could I change it to?  And I would create my own positive affirmation!  For instance,  my belief that “I don’t matter” became simply “I Matter!”, in capital letters and complete with exclamation marks!

 The next thing I would do  is place post it notes with my  more positive version where I would most likely see them on a consistent basis.    And I would seek out positive quotes that reminded me that yes, I DO matter!  And every time I caught myself telling myself I did not matter, I would put my hand up and say out loud – “STOP IT!  Yes, I DO matter!”

After a while of being consistent with these small things, my beliefs about my self worth began to change dramatically.  And I used this technique over and over because I was trying to create new neural pathways in my brain…which IS entirely possible!

So, if you have something you are trying to change, keep it out there in front of you.  Persistence (without guilt, shame, or beating yourself up!) really does work.  

Advertisements

Self Care – It’s Not What You Think –

Hello, and welcome to my new blog! My name is Chere, and this is my second blog on WordPress.  You can visit my first one here.

My first blog was meant to be all about my journey into self care – but it ended up being more of a personal sharing of my life, which is good and ok.  My intention here, though, is to share about all things self care related.  And those things aren’t necessarily what you might imagine off the top of your head.

Why self care?  And, why me?  Well, I admit I’m no expert, and that I am a self taught advocate of the need for self care in all of its forms.  My personal journey has led me to realize that in order for me to live my life in a healthy, balanced way, I need to implement self care, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally.  My past experiences and trainings did not include being taught much about self care beyond taking a shower and keeping your teeth brushed!   Self care is SO much more than that.  It’s about boundaries.  It’s about being able to say NO.  It’s about healthy eating, and moving one’s body on a regular basis.  It’s about positive, intentional self-talk, not the self talk that many of us allow ourselves to partake in.

My life was the OPPOSITE of self care – it was self – loathing!  That inner critic broke me down over and over again.  I had NO boundaries – in fact (and don’t laugh!)  I didn’t know what a personal boundary even was till I was in my 40’s.  I didn’t believe I was worthy of anything good, so whenever I especially needed to practice self care, I would do the exact opposite – practice self-neglect.

My life was a mess, and I fell apart in so many ways you cannot even count.  And getting back on my feet was painful, and painfully slow.  I have had to teach myself about the importance of loving me, accepting me right where I am, and being happy with myself.

Learning these things has not been easy.  But what I’ve found even more disturbing is that I’m not alone in this way I have treated myself for too many years!  So many out there (particularly women, but also men) are still believing that they are of no worth….and I find that unacceptable.  So, if, by sharing my story, and offering some solutions, ideas, encouragement or kindness, I can give back to even a few, then, that painful journey I made toward self-love will have all been worth it.

Because, when you go through a dark-night-of-the-soul, and come out the other side, it has to have meant something in the bigger picture called life.  At least, to me.

stay tuned…